Sep 29, 2003

Mayllah

Mayllah lives in a separate world
She pretends she’s a different girl
Prozac, anacin, amphetamine
She wishes she knew how to deal with these means
She gazes at the girls in pleated skirts
She’ll tell you to your face that pain doesn’t hurt
A state of mind; Mind over matter
Mayllah knows
Mayllah’s forgotten
Disappearing in a flashback

Pronounced "My - luh"
Earth Angel

Oh, sweet!
Oh, lover!
What to say
What to regret
As I love with a love
Greater than the angels
I can only regret
That I was not physically
Heavenly enough for you
You are the one from above
An Earth Angel
The heavenly food to satisfy
My eternal longing


Sep 27, 2003

Breathless and Wanting


On your couch
Your arms around me
No
I know it’s wrong
But, oh, one look
Into those deep crystalline pools

Pull me closer
I won’t resist

A psuedo-scary movie
A good excuse for proximity
The movie ends
I look at you

Again
Those longing eyes

Pull me closer
I won’t resist

Closer, Closer
Nose to nose
I close my eyes
Fluttering eyelash
Angels breath on your cheek

What will be will be
And must be

Pull me closer
I can’t resist

Hold me tighter
Lip to lip
Tongue to tongue
Breathless and hasty
Wanting
Needing
Fullness of the longing

Hold me closer

Oh those eyes
Those sweet lips
Parting

“I can’t remember a time my heart beat this fast”

Again
You pull me closer
How can I resist

Sep 25, 2003

You Never Loved Me

It’s not fair and I know that you hate me
You want me gone
You want me to leave forever
(My life forgotten)

You never loved me like you said you did
You never meant what you said
You never loved me like you said you did
You never loved me anyways

(Now my life is gonna fade)

I feel like my life is being torn apart
You broke my heart my soul regret
(Now, I know)

You never loved me like you said you did
You never meant what you said
You never loved me like you said you did
You never loved me anyways

(Yes, my life is gonna fade)

Time For Change
You worry me sometimes! I get really scared for you. I think that all the things you’re doing… they might equal your demise. I care about you! I don’t want you to get hurt. I wish you would stop what you’re doing and come back home. You know what I mean! The girls, drugs, alcohol, and the violence… oh, the violence. Do you think I can’t see what’s going on? Babe, it’s not helping us. If you don’t stop… well, I might have to go. Baby, it’s not that I want to leave you, but I just can’t stand to see you killing yourself. I couldn’t stand to see you die. If I forget your face, could I spare mine? But, that’s not what it’s all about. I want you to stay here with me, Baby. But, if you won’t stop, well, I’ll just have to move one. It’s time for those hated words, but they must be said. So… Goodbye… I won’t be seeing you for a while.
She is such a gentle girl
Intelligent in the ways of the world
Closes her eyes, hides in shame
She knows she is the one to blame
One by One


One by one I’m losing all my best friends…
Everyone is changing
Everything is different now and I
Can’t fathom why
They hate me
They won’t speak to me
The put me down when
I’m not around
* All alone in the world
* Silently screaming
* Gazing at you
* Looking for new ways to be
* Never being satisfied with life
* Harsh elements
* Sweet Inspiriations
I miss you
Tentative Title


I’m lonesome and hopeless
I look in your closet and smell your clothes
And I cry, remembering you
How you used to love me
But where there was love
Only bitterness remains
Everything makes me remember
How can I forget
I can only regret that I didn’t hold on tighter
We faded
Faded away till there was no more.
Insane again
Tentative title

I see you standing there out in the rain
You’re cold; you’re shivering
You’re insane again

I need you now; you walk away
You never could find
The strength to stay

Keys are left on the foyer table
Beaten; raped
I am unable

The phone rings, but I don’t have
The strength to stand
I need you now; I need your gentle hand

I’m lonely
I can’t save myself
And all I’ve left of you
Is that damn picture
On the mantle shelf
Freedom to Breath

Drowning in you

I’m drowning in you. Let go! I need to be free. I need Freedom to Breath. Drowning in you. Life, everything: it’s too much! It’s just so damn overwhelming. I gasp. I choke. My hands are tied behind my back. I cry. My tears choke me; just like you. You are my tears. I need to be free. I need Freedom to Breath. Drowning in you. One swift movement. A flash of pain; brief, releasing pain. I’m free, but I don’t have Freedom to Breath. And I’ll never live again.

Kiss Of Life
The watery depths pull me down. My lungs are nearly bursting with the weight of the water that has filled them. The air has long since gone. My legs and arms have all gone numb. My head is all fuzzy. I can no longer see the great colorful fish that swarm around me. My eyes start to see black. It starts at the corners of my world and slides in to swallow me. I reach out toward the warmth and the peace.

A kiss! Who is it? I cough. Water surges up through my lungs and out of my mouth. How gross! How rude of me! I open my eyes. Red shorts and a silver whistle on a chain. That’s all. Great tan! I see the people. I gaze at the gleaming sand and surf. A lifeguard. The beach. The ocean shimmers a beautiful blue. I look at him with his bare chest and bleach blond hair. He gave me back my Freedom to Breath.

Beautiful

With your big brown eyes
You gaze into the night
With your graceful arms
You hold me so tight
And I think
Oh wonderful wonderful wonderful
Everything’ wonderful
Now and forever

Your perfect skin
Your beautiful face
Your loving lips
In our passionate embrace
And I think
Oh beautiful beautiful beautiful
You will be beautiful
Now and forever